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Gabe Johnson Takes Over
Gabe Johnson Takes Over
From Geoff Herbach, the award-winning author of the hit young adult novels Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, comes the ultimate underdog story, which will resonate with anyone who has suffered from...
From Geoff Herbach, the award-winning author of the hit young adult novels Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, comes the ultimate underdog story, which will resonate with anyone who has suffered from...
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Due to publisher restrictions, your digital library cannot purchase additional copies of this title. We apologize if there is a long holds list. You may want to see if other editions of this title are available from your digital library instead.
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From Geoff Herbach, the award-winning author of the hit young adult novels Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, comes the ultimate underdog story, which will resonate with anyone who has suffered from teasing and bullying at the hands of the high school social hierarchy—and decided to do something about it. (Previously titled Fat Boy vs The Cheerleaders.)
Gabe is having a tough week. Normally the funny kid at the lunch table, he's on edge from trying to kick his soda addiction. So when news breaks that his beloved marching band camp has been cancelled due to lack of funding, he's furious. What makes him even madder? The school's vending machine money—which had previously been collected by the band—is now sponsoring the new cheer squad.
The war is ON. And Gabe is leading the charge. No one will be safe from the Geekers' odd brand of wrath: not the principal, the band teacher, the local newspaper, and certainly not the cheerleaders and their jock boyfriends. Get ready: Life at Minnekota Lake Area High School is about to change. Gabe Johnson is taking over.
"A funny, uplifting, and rousing book that'll make readers think. In other words, it's a real gem." –K. M. Walton, author of Cracked and Empty
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From the book
CHAPTER 1
Ripping off the pop machine last night wasn't meant to be funny. It was my duty to all the geeks, burners, and oddballs in school because that machine sucks. Robbing it was serious business, okay?
Why are you laughing, Mr. Rodriguez?
I did it myself. I robbed the machine all by myself.
There were sheep in the school this morning? Real sheep?
How-Oh, wait, I remember now. I must've let them in there by accident. Whoops. Like...left the door open after I robbed the machine and all those sheep wandered in by themselves.
No, it's not funny, sir. Really.
I'm telling you I'm the one who stole the money. It was eighteen dollars, but I lost a quarter when Officer McCoy roughed me up. Look at my chin! I have scrapes all over my stomach and knees too.
That stupid pop machine. Stupid pop. It all started with that stupid-
Yeah, I hate that machine. For so many reasons.
First things first! That machine made me a junky! A pop junky! I'm not the only one in school either.
Back in May, me, Justin Cornell, and Camille Gardener did this pop study for health class. It was Camille's idea because she turned into a health nut when her dad started organic farming last year. (Her dad grew like two tomatoes and one giant zucchini. Mr. Gardener's not the greatest farmer in the world.) Anyway, out of Camille's concern for health, she got us to study usage of the pop machine, her theory being that unhealthy kids would be the heaviest users.
Big, bad study, sir.
Mr. Luken, our health teacher, gave us passes to hang out in the cafeteria all day. We made a chart of jocks, brains, music geeks, gamers, burners, and others (sad sacks who are hard to categorize because they have no social connections to anyone) and we took note of who purchased a product from the pop machine and what specific product they purchased.
Almost nobody paid attention to us while we took notes. Only a couple said stuff like, "What are you staring at, dorks?" Seth Sellers, a jock, made fart sounds when he saw me.
This pop project was eye opening, sir.
After school that day, me, Camille, and Justin went to Bitterroot Coffee Shop down on Main Street to tally things up.
"Nick, Gamer, purchased three Pepsis in four hours," Justin said.
"Kendra, Burner, four different pops in five hours," Camille said.
"She's pretty overweight," Justin said.
"Not as big as Tiff, Other, who bought four bottles of Sierra Mist," Camille said.
"Oh, Lord Mother of all Balls," I said.
Camille plugged the data into a spreadsheet, squinting.
Justin shook his head, sucked his latte, and was all like, "Whoa."
Then Camille sat back, sipped her green tea, and was all like, "Just as I suspected."
I smiled and said, "Holy Mother of all Balls, right?" I drank a mocha with whipped cream, which has a million calories by the way.
Here's the scoop, sir: Purchasers of pop at Minnekota Lake Area High School are fat asses, trailer park kids, addicted gamers, and burner chicks who eat cigarettes for breakfast. Dozens and dozens of these kids. Most of them went for seconds later in the day. Some for thirds. A couple fourths (me, for instance). Very few jocks purchased pop from the machine. (Seth Sellers bought one bottle of Pepsi late in the afternoon, so he was able to greet me with the aforementioned fart sounds.) Two cheerleaders purchased from the machine, but they both...
About the Author-
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Wee Wisconsin boy, Geoff Herbach wanted to play for the Green Bay Packers or join The Three Stooges. His tight hamstrings left him only writing. Now he writes YA novels, including the award-winning Stupid Fast series, and teaches at Minnesota State, Mankato where he blows his students' minds with tales of football and comedy glory, none of which are true. Visit www.geoffherbach.com for more information about the author, his books, and much more.
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